spiecedogs

 This was passed around at work:

An elderly gent  was invited to an old friends' home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as:  Pretty Girl, Honey, My  Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin,  Baby etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly they were still very much in love.
            
While the wife was in the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to  his host, "I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names"
          
The old man hung his head. "I have to tell you the truth," he said,"Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!"


  
 

Dog Talk
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A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:"

"Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog speak,he says, "So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told them. In no time at all they had me jetting from  country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.

"I uncovered some incredible stuff and was awarded a bunch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says.

"Ten dollars?! This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that stuff."