My opinion

[spicedogs]

 

For months now, I have witnessed the emergence on many of my flists journals, of a statistical tool that shows off how often their flist members comment in that particular journal. I know that by posting this entry, I will stir emotions and someone might get mad at me. Please understand that I am only expressing an opinion. And as a citizen of a country that prides itself for allowing freedom of speech, I have a right to express my discontent for the statistical tool.

 

In my opinion, this tool, which originally was a cute idea, serves a purpose of subtlety incite members to compete and to make a concerted effort to post in that particular post. No one wants to appear to look like a “bad” friend for not posting. The question is whether you are or are not a bad friend.

 

First and foremost, we should answer these two questions that I am about to pose:

 

(1) Should we read every entry of every member of our flist?

 

(2) Once we read the entry, should we comment to those entries?

 

If the ansyour is yes to both of these questions, and you fail to do them consistently, then you are a bad friend. Is that really realistic? If you have 30 active friends, work full time, and have a life other than LJ, is it realistic to expect you to read every entry, regardless of length, regardless whether you are interested in the subject or even have an opinion on the subject, should you post an answer? Because if you don’t post an anwer, the statistical tool will shove you to a lower bracket. Of course, then there are the threaded conversations. One of you may be one of the flist members who does read every entry, does not formulate many, if any, replies, and go about your business after reading the post. Now comes “Joe,” who hardly answers, reads only two or three entries, but engages in numerous heavily threaded conversations. “Joe” now climbs to the top. Joe becomes number 3 on the statistical ladder. You who were a good friend who read all the entries and formulated your opinion, now find yourself in the number 27 position. You are really ashamed. “Oh my I’m only 27. At least I made it. Phew. Mental note: I will come by this journal more often. I just don’t want to be seen as a “bad” friend.”

 

From my perspective all this tool accomplishes is to make sure that replies will be posted in a person’s journal (otherwise Mr. Statistical Tool will show everyone the truth). Do we really need to beg for replies?

 

Moreover, folks, I find these silly statistical tool as a harmful device that hurts people’s feelings. This tools is akin to those tagging-type memes. You know which ones I mean: “Post these 32 questions in your journal, answer them, and then tag 8 friends to do the same.” I have hurt some flist members with the tagging game. I made a mental note not to tag anybody. But just a month ago, I could’ve have kicked myself. I tagged some people. In fact, in my opinion, the tagging games are even worse, because you are damned if you tag, and you are damned if you don’t. Either way, someone will get hurt.

 

Off my soap box.

PS.: Don't feel that I meant you, whoever you are when I am posting about the Stastical Tool. This week alone, I've had 7 f-list members post them. So the shoe fits a lot of you, but it is meant as a general post. I am not pointing fingers.


 

Comments

[mr-henry-gale.livejournal.com]

I've used the tool before, but I don't think I've ever posted it. I'm a little wary about offending people...

I don't mind people posting it, though. I know how often I post, and the counter thingamajig accurately reflects that. I comment if and when I feel like it. I know I'm not a very good commenter, but that's that... and though I can't guarantee I actually read all the entries on my f-list page, I at least skim through almost every one that is not behind a cut.

The tagging thing too. I've always felt slightly bad after doing that. These days, I just leave it open for anyone who wants to do the meme...

[spicedogs.livejournal.com]

You may be secure in your status of a occasional commentor. But what if you are not. I just witnessed a few journals with the statistics showing and people actually apologizing for not commenting so often. Some other members were practically sticking their virtual tongues at each other because one was higher of the spectrum than the other. Is this a healthy relationship? That's what I find offensive. It's like having your child pee on the bedsheets at night and the mother hanging it outside for his or her friends to see.

[polvodestrella.livejournal.com]

I completely understand your point of view. As somebody who have used this tool in a lot of occasions, I want to add my personal point of view on it.

I don't use it to show 'who is the better friend', because then I wouldn't call 'flist stats' but 'friendship stats'. I've never begged for replies, I know I get them even if I don't post the stats thing, so I just do it the same way I do the 'which is my most used icon' statistic, or the 'which words I've used the most in my LJ' thing. Because I like numbers. Also, I like to see my name on my flist stats when they do it, so I just assume that those who are not interested on it are going to ignore it.

But yes, I completelly understand your opinion and I know that some people can take these kind of things very seriously. As I've always said, in your LJ, you can do whatever you want to do. If you feel like complaining, you can do so, and we're all allowed to post our opinion the way we see it, that's because it's our LJ and not somebody else's LJ. So yes, I approve that you expressed your opinion, and I don't think anybody is going to be mad because you say things the way you see them, that would be something pretty immature (even if I've seen these kind of behavior in LJ).

About the tags, I don't like tagging people, so usually I tag 'whoever wants to do it'. If somebody tags me and I don't want to do it, I just tell them I'm not going to do or, I've never really seen it as a problem.

I think it's good we all express our opinions openly. If somebody is not happy with them, well, they know where the defriend button is.

[spicedogs.livejournal.com]

Maybe I am reading the replies in your journal wrong, but I do see those who say, "I'll try to do better next time." "WhooHoo, I'm #1." "Oh, my, I didn't even make the list, I'm so low" That, to me, are troublesome answers.

[mr-henry-gale.livejournal.com]

I wrote a reply like that earlier today, but it meant nothing. I didn't really rejoice, nor have I ever felt truly sorry that I haven't commented enough. I'm just an indifferent, unemotional bastard sometimes...

[spicedogs.livejournal.com]

Actually, deep inside you, there's a heart that would like to show up a bit.

[polvodestrella.livejournal.com]

And if you read my replies to them, I always reply the same: 'what is important to me is not your position, but the fact that you're in my flist'.

[spicedogs.livejournal.com]

You may feel that way, but your flistie may not. I tried to explain to the people who were upset about not being tagged that it was just the luck of the draw. I don't think that I like one flistie more than the other. Everyone brings something unique to my journal. But, like children, people get hurt so fast and such silly ways.

Anyway, I work for a statistical agency. I know what charts are saying and are trying to convey. And that's why I feel so adamantly against them in a social-networking community.

[polvodestrella.livejournal.com]

Yes, people might be upset, the say way they might be upet when read your opinion about this in your LJ, and like you say, there's freedom of speech and everybody can post what they want. You choose to post an opinion, I chose to post some LJ stats, if somebody is not happy with them or has any problem, they can just skip them.

I wish everybody were like you and stated their opinion, this would be a better place for sure. I hate fake people who pretend to be friends and then complain against your back, so thanks for that :)

[kidneytheft.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. I have used this tool, however I set the post to private so that only I could see the results. This way I satiate my own curiousity without offending anybody.

[spicedogs.livejournal.com]

I like your answer.

[crazymaryt.livejournal.com]

I must really be slow because I didn't even realise you could do this.

I do agree with a lot of what you have said. If you have a busy RL it's hard to always comment. I was away for days and am behind. I always just hope my true friends don't mind the occasional comment and vice versa. A lot of times I find I don't know what to say in a comment. Especially if someone has done a deep post. I want to show support but I'm not sure if *hugs* is the always the best answer to use.

For me LJ is all about having fun and I can't be bothered with anything remotely negative. I'm just too lazy to do it.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

I hate that thing, too. I hate it more that SOME people actually say they use it to decide who to defriend.

I don't expect that every entry of mine will interest every person on my flist, and vice-versa. We are not all braintwins!

If something spurs convo, GREAT. If something touches you (the nebulous "you"), GREAT. I'm not rating you.

Now - if someone NEVER EVER comments? Yeah, I might get irked. Maybe.

And hell, you've seen how many ppl I have friended. I can't comment on everything!

[leyosura.livejournal.com]

I agree with you completely.

You know, I'm always conscious that I don't post or comment as often as some other people do, despite the fact that I do read most entries. But the fact is that I just enjoy reading what other people post. Also, a lot of the time I'm simply too tired to think of anything, or sometimes someone has already said what I was going to say. Sometimes I just don't think I have anything interesting to add.

What happens, though, is that people can be put off from contributing altogether if they think they're being judged. That can't be a good thing.

[venckman.livejournal.com]

Liked the essay. To me, it's a pretty useless application, as I have a small flist, my posts don't generate much by way of replies, and I myself am a steady but not voluminous commenter. Like anything it can be abused by people wanting to use it inappropriately to browbeat others, but they are few. On the other side of the coin, there are always people looking for some reason to take personally that which is not personal, so I can see the other side of the argument also. Both sides exist and are valid in this case, I think.

[greenleaf-y.livejournal.com]

I have not enough time for LJ. I have few friends in LJ as a whole. I don't worry absolutely about statistics, I make comments just for those posts (pics or words) which give me some emotions.

[mooncove.livejournal.com]

I didn't even know about this statistical tool till I read this post, but if any of my friends are using it, I don't know about it! I'm sure they all think I'm a bad friend. I tend to be away from LJ for days or a week at a time, so I have to do a lot of catching up, and by the time I would make a comment (like this), the discussion is already over. Also, my journal tends to generate very little if any conversation (only two or three regular posters). I don't take it personally as I know I can be very verbose and probably boring.

Anyway, now that I know about the tool, I'm in total agreement with you. (Personally, I don't have any use for it myself.)